A comic monologue from Tom Wells warning of the perils of self-abuse in zero gravity conditions.
Our unnamed male narrator is about to take off into space as the cameraman on board a rocket to the moon. However, there is someone special he’s left back at home, in Huddersfield, thousands of miles below and it is to him that this monologue is addressed. He runs through the dangers of masturbating and sleeping in space as well as reliving his schooldays and the tender moment when a tentative romance was sparked between them.
Notes for First Time Astronauts was first performed by the author himself at Soho Theatre in London in 2009 as part of Paines Plough’s LATER programme.